You Can’t Take It With You

Wonders abound in the worlds of religion and irreligion, but one of the most fascinating came to my attention today: a site dedicated to saving your pet in the event you get “raptured”. After taking a cursory glance, I figured this was purely a joke site that was made in 5 minutes by some atheists looking for a laugh, but it turns out that these guys actually get money for their work.

The contract is harmless enough. Here are a few snippets:

“In the event of the death of the subscribing pet owner prior to the Rapture the contract will remain in effect. EE-BP will continue to honor the contract for the remainder of the contract period. We do not adopt / rescue animals except as a result of the Rapture occurance.”

“Should a relative residing within the rescue location not be Raptured and opts to retain the pet(s), EE-BP will not take possession of the pet(s). No refund will be tendered.”

“If subscriber loses his/her faith and/or the Rapture occurs and subscriber is not Raptured (aka is “left behind”) EE-BP disclaims any liability; no refund will be tendered.”

Quotes taken from Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA – Contract and Payment

They do actually have subscribers, and members of their organization, confirmed atheists who have no worry of being taken should a rapture occur, will honestly uphold their end of the bargain. Also, a portion of the revenue made from their Google advertising is donated to food banks in their area. These guys are legit, and some people are worried enough about the rapture that they legitimately fear this. Seems like these guys are helping a lot of people, while helping us laugh at ourselves a bit, too. Check them out.

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA


5 Comments on “You Can’t Take It With You”

  1. Hi.

    I’m Bart, creator and co-owner of Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. Also, the author of The Atheist Camel Chronicles… a top 10 best seller on amazon’s atheist list of titles.

    Thanks for your comments about our site.
    I would like to make two clarifications.

    First: rOnly the income from our Google abvertising is donated to food banks in my site partner’s home town in MN, and my town in NH. Proceeds from contract sales are entirely shared by the pet rescers and management.

    Secondly, In regards to “swindling.”
    1- We state plainly on our site that we are atheists and do not believe in the rapture. Thus, we expect it will not happen.

    2- The fact is there are people who believe as strongly that it will happen, as we are convinced that it won’t. If they are right and we are wrong, for $11.00 a year for pet rescue insurance coverage who’s taking advantage of whom?

    3- We do not promote the concept of the rapture, we leave that to those christians and their clergy who embrace this non-biblical doctrine.

    4- we have atheist pet rescuers in the states/regtions we offer our services. Each is committed to this project and sworn to fulfill it should we be mistaken, and the rapture ocurrs.

    Thus, we are honest about our perspective and our offering, and are prepared to execute our agreement. We promise nothing more. Nothing could be more up front, and on the table.


    • Thanks a lot for your comment, Bart. I’ve tried to take your notes to heart and make the appropriate changes. I apologize if I’ve misrepresented anyone, and if anymore changes need to be made, let me know.

      Ben Hurst

    • Militant Evangelical says:

      Woe be unto you doubters and pagans. One day you shall parish in fire and torment while the saints are caught up with Him in the air. But hey, could you maybe drop by the house every once and awhile to check on Peanut? That’d really be great.

      PS – Bart, do you personally receive more $ for Amazon or purchases?

  2. Ben,
    It really doesn’t make much difference.

    Buying from my site gets an autographed copy and saves the buyer $3.00.
    The incremental profit from my sales vs Amazon’s royalties is so minor as to be a non-issue.
    Buying from Amazon boosts my sales numbers and ranking (I am number 8 in atheist books as of an hour ago:)

    So it’s all a wash.


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